Step 1: Purchase iPad2 for $500
Step 2: Drop on tile floor to shatter screen
Step 2a: Sweep up shards of glass off the floor
Step 3: Call AppleCare and find out that it’s not covered under warranty since it was broken through “negligence”.
Step 4: Decide that Apple’s out of warranty repair option ($300) is too expensive to fix a device that costs $500 brand new.
Step 5: Purchase 3rd party touch screen digitizer replacement
Step 6: Spend your Saturday afternoon with a heat gun and a tiny plastic crowbar to prying out thousands of tiny shards of glass.
Step 7: Plug in new replacement screen
Step 8: Test new replacement screen and find out that only 30% of the screen is responsive to touch
Step 9: Recognize that you’re beyond your area of expertise
Step 10: Decide that maybe the $300 repair option might be your best remaining option
Step 11: Call AppleCare again and find out that the $300 repair option actually includes a replacement if they can’t fix it, and that an Apple Store will actually just swap you straight across for a new one, even though you already tried to fix it yourself
Step 12: Decide that the AppleStore is too far away and opt for the UPS shipping option
Step 13: Ship it back to Apple
Step 14: Get an email from Apple that says they’ve determined that they won’t actually fix it or replace it after all (no word about the $300 that you spent for them to fix it)
Step 15: Have a long and frustrating conversation with AppleCare and find out that they won’t actually replace or repair anything unless every shard of the original glass is still in its original place
Step 16: Wait for your $500 lump of junk to come from Apple since they generously ship the unfixed iPad back to you
And that is how you turn your iPad2 into a $500 lump of junk.